The Business of Being Busy

You are probably WAY too busy to read this. But that is exactly why you should read it. In this world of convenience, and all sorts of gadgets to "help" us, we are busier than ever!  How did that happen? Isn't all this new technology supposed to make it EASIER? Wasn't the original idea that we would save so much time not having to stand in line, sit in traffic, etc., that we would have more time for our families and passions? Well, THAT didn't happen. When our kids were little, my husband and I decided to move closer to his work, so that we could have more family time. I'll give you three guesses as to how that worked out. Yep, he just spent more time at the office, and it didn't improve our home and family life at all. Your priorities will ALWAYS show themselves in your actions. Think about it: the things that are MOST enjoyable/important to you, are the things you always make time for. If having money is the most important thing to you, you're going to spend as much time as possible working towards that goal. It is the same for anything else. When you meet someone who you enjoy spending time with, you WANT to make time for that, because it benefits you and makes you feel good. The things that you don't consider AS important, fall away naturally. It's the natural order of life.

The tricky part of this whole equation is the wild card: Your issues, or, the stuck energy in your space. If you are stuck in a loop of "Women are crazy," you will keep attracting this pattern, and these types of women. There are many reasons why you would have developed this pattern, but make no mistake here: YOU have created this pattern.  ALL women are NOT crazy. Same with a pattern of "not having enough money." Do you constantly find yourself wanting more? Do you have "bad luck" with money? This is also a pattern you have developed, it's called a pattern of "lack." This is something that may require some really deep soul searching, or energy work, in order to clear.

The other pattern I see with being "busy," is the denial factor. It is really hard to sit in silence, when the silence is deafening. Many of us have thought patterns which are very damaging and painful for us to hear, and so we search for ways to drown these out. This comes out in the way of addictions, and compulsive patterns. When you find yourself being too busy to meet up with your friends, have personal time, or even eat healthy, it's time to look at what you are avoiding. Again, this may be very painful, and I would encourage you to seek help if you really want to address this. Energy work, therapy, or even life coaching, can be very helpful here, as well.

Wishing each and every one of you a blessed, beautiful day! xoxo Andrea

For information on energy healing, or to schedule a session with me, please visit my site.

Releasing fear from the past

In the past week, I have had the privilege of working with some really great young people. I am always moved to tears when I hear about all the stress and fear they have, just in their everyday lives. We all have stress, but often we forget that our kids absorb this and often take it on as their own. Even the most well intentioned of parents can fall into this pattern. We are not born afraid; rather, it is taught to us. We are warned against touching a hot stove, crossing the street without looking, and many other lessons that are for our safety. It stands to reason that we would also look to our parents for guidance on other things. Unfortunately, our human emotions often blur the line between fact and perception, and we are then left to decipher this maze of fear without any reference point.

As parents, we experience many life changes and challenges. We try our best to shield our children from the worst of this, but they still take it on, energetically. Unless we have tools, there is not really any way to prevent this from happening. The energy of our fear is passed along to our children, and the cycle continues. If you had trauma in your life, say, when you were 10, studies have shown that when your children turn that age, you unconsciously relive that trauma. It's like looking in a mirror, and you may find yourself saying things to your child and not even realizing why. You may have little quips about how "people can't be trusted," or some offhand remark that you don't even remember saying. However, your young person absorbs it and files it away as "something to remember." Most of this is unconscious, and, as I tell all my clients, no one is "bad" or "wrong" for doing this. We just need to become aware of it so that we can start to heal it, and, in turn, help our children to heal.

My goal with the work that I am doing, is to help you bring all this into present time so that the whole family can release it and heal. I give you the tools to heal yourself so that you can really take charge of your consciousness and start to create the thing you want for you and your family. All your past traumas are just that: the PAST. Whatever lesson you learned from your experiences will always be a part of you, but the trauma itself can be released.

I am offering many discounts and specials to start off the school year, so email me if you are interested in a session for you or your young person. Remember, all my sessions are offered as a phone call, or Skype call. You do not have to be local to receive the benefits of an energy reading.

In Love and Light! Andrea

Are you Focusing TOO MUCH on the Positive?

I am hearing a lot about this concept, "focusing on the positive." In fact, it has become annoyingly overused and misunderstood. I had an ex who used to say this to get out of taking responsibilty for his various misdeeds. "Andrea, you are being negative. Focusing on what I did wrong is unhealthy for you." Never mind that "what he did wrong" was "cheating on me." Somehow, I was at fault because I was being negative? Twisted logic and twisted people have made this their mantra, and I am calling an end to it. Sometimes things ARE negative, and it's time we stop using our spiritual vocabulary to weasel out of our lessons. My ex is long gone, but I still hear people misusing this phrase all over the place.

The other day I saw an interesting quote (my apologies as I can not remember who said it, or I would give them proper credit!): "Focusing only on the positive causes you to miss a lot of things." I agree with this 100%. Sometimes we need to recognize when we have made a bad choice, and hurt other people. I guarantee you, if you don't, karma will hunt you down, there is no hiding. I used to be a very different person, 5 years ago. I made some really bad choices, and, as a result, people were hurt. I am STILL paying my karmic debt for this, and each time it comes up, it is easier and easier to really roll with it, and understand that I have to take responsibility for what I did, EVEN THOUGH I am different now. A mistake that hurts people still deserves an apology. Just because you "didn't mean to do it," or "it was an accident," or even "I was drunk," does not change the fact that you DID IT.

If you find yourself constantly having to apologize, perhaps it is time to start making different choices. I think this is inherent to the process of maturing. Some people may never grow up, and that is completely their problem. But, for those of you who are reading this and recognize that you would like to attract different energy into your life, be aware that you are NEVER a victim. What you reap is ALWAYS what you sow, whether it is immediate, or has delayed consequences. Think about it: When you are having a bad day, everything that happens, and everyone you run into, is in congruence with that energy. On the other hand, when you are having a good day, sending out smiles and happy energy, you are more likey to receive that back. Some days, I have to fake it, but I am extremely aware that when I can separate from that dissapointing news I received, or the barking dog next door, I can leave it behind me much more quickly than if I marinate in it, and let it fester in my mind. The more you become aware of what you are putting out there, the easier it will be to put out "good vibes," and become conscious of your own behavior. You CAN break the pattern!

Having said all that, it IS important to find a balance between being delusional, and sabotaging yourself. As with many theories and spiritual concepts, taking it the the extreme on either end is unhealthy, and ultimately, not going to get you what you really want. Changing thoughts and intentions from negative to positive is a good shift for most of us.

If you would like some assistance or need help with a specific issue, email me for your FREE consultation! Blessings to you on this beautiful day!

The road more (or less) traveled

Yes, this is going to be one of those "analogy blogs," and I make no apologies for it:) If you are a regular reader, you know I like analogies, and I especially enjoy spinning the old cliches into new twists. The old, "it's the journey that matters, not the destination," and, "life is a highway," are just a couple that immediately come to mind. I am sure you have heard both of those, perhaps to the point where you roll your eyes when you hear them. Often, cliches are where sound advice goes to die. They are good messages, but when they are used erroneously, they can actually be invalidating. It's a good way to avoid listening to your friend complain for the 100th time about her troubles, and an alternative to really challenging her to solve her problems, as opposed to staying in a cycle of discontent. Saying "life is a journey," and cutting her off, is much easier for you, but certainly not validating for her.

We are having record heat out here in Los Angeles, and yesterday my son and I decided to go to the beach, in an attempt to cool down. After the difficult task of finding parking, we started to make our way down to the water's edge. The sand felt like hot coals, and, even though we moved quickly, I ended up with blisters on my feet. However; the reward of the bracingly cool ocean water proved to be well worth it.

The same can be said for our life path. Often, it is painful and difficult, but we are aware that the reward is waiting for us, so we push onward. Sometimes, we go back to "cooler sands," but, in the end, the promise of fulfillment lures us out of our comfort zone, and we, again, brave the pain and the discomfort. It is human nature to avoid pain, for this is a survival mechanism, in it's most basic form. However; we must weigh the pros and cons of staying where we are, versus where we want to be, to make a decision from our higher consciousness.

If you are struggling with unhappiness, or confusion, let me help you gain some clarity! I am offering very special low pricing right now, to new clients. Send me an email at happiness@andreagarst.com to get started today!

Blog Vacation Week

I'm taking a break this week, but wanted to show you what I have been up to.  Hope you are all having a fantastic week!

Are you reaping what you have sown?

Chances are, in the past, you have done some things that you are not too proud of.  You may not want to admit it, but if you are human, you have made mistakes, and made choices which have hurt others, intentionally OR unintentionally. "Karma" has become a cliche, mostly in thanks to shows like "My Name is Earl," and the phraseology which has emerged.  You may have heard things like, "Karma's gonna get you," and "You are creating some bad karma!" I have tried to use it in a positive way, as I think you may be missing the point if you are wishing "bad karma" on someone else.  Are you not, by wishing harm to another person, creating some bad karma for yourself? My interpretation of karma is that you "reap what you sow." This particular phrase has been around long before yoga was trendy, and milk came from nuts and beans. Growing up, I heard it a lot, but I never truly knew the meaning until recently. Many of you know that I have a checkered (to say the least) past. I have struggled a lot to find my inner peace and spiritual center. From pain and adversity comes progress, and I am living proof of that! Anyway, as I was going through my party phase, I was not living consciously, and I made many bad decisions. Most of them were fairly innocuos, but a couple have come back to haunt me, and I have lost a dear friend due to one particularly fateful choice.  As I reflected on this, and heard her pain, I realized that this is my karma.  Even though I did not do what I did to harm her, or intentionally cause her pain, all these years later, she is as hurt as if it happened yesterday, and will never look at me the same way again. It is my karmic debt to her, and the price is steep.  I have to acknowledge that I used to be a different person, in order to fully embrace who I am NOW.

Next time you make a decision, think about where you are in your consciousness.  Are you aware and awake? Are you in fear? The energy that goes into your choices is the energy that will come back to you, eventually. Plant buds of love and kindness and you will soon reap the rewards.

Wishing you all the best KARMA in the universe! xoxo

Are you the egg, or the chicken?

*******I just got done with a fabulous visit from my parents, and that is why I am a few days late with this:) A very good friend and mentor of mine once told me, "Think of yourself like an egg.  You have all you need to grow inside you already." I have been noticing all the people around me who have been searching for the meaning of life, happiness, or whatever they think they need for fulfillment.  When you reach outside of yourself, you break your inner strength, in essence, you "crack" your shell, and then you have to start all over.  What information do you have inside yourself today?

I see this manifested in many ways, and, especially in the spiritual community, people are consantly seeking information from others.  In my work, I have done many readings in which the person wants an answer.  But, like I tell them, I don't have YOUR answers, and if you don't know, I can't reflect it back to you.  MY answers won't work for you.  A lot of us have other people's information telling us to do something a certain way. This ultimately ends up looking like "obligation," or "responsbility." We arrive at "resentment," and often have a "mid life crisis." When you don't really know what YOU want, no amount of workshops and seminars can tell you.  In order to truly find YOUR truth, you need to learn to go within.

Learning to listen to your inner voice requires ALONE time.  Most of us are so wrapped up in our distractions, and keeping "busy," that we do not even know what this feels like.  Many of us are uncomfortable with being alone with ourselves.  Practicing meditation or yoga, something that requires you to focus within, will help you to find that quiet place.  Although, you can certainly practice these things with others, and still not be quiet.  I used to go to yoga with a friend who wanted to talk through the whole class.  Filling the quiet spaces with chatter is simply allowing your fear to take over, and it will keep you going in circles.  As my meditation teacher explains, "Gossip and chatter is a really good way to keep from resolving your inner issues."

Wishing you all a wonderful day, and, as always, feel free to comment, share, and email me!

Unconscious Parenting

Many parents struggle with the teen years, and, having a teen AND a tween, I can relate, but not in the way you might think. I see many parents of young children who are completely checked out, and they don't realize it, but this is setting up their children to have issues down the road.  I see moms pushing strollers in a daze, looking at their phones, while the child is plugged in to an electronic device, watching a movie. There is no human connection in that equation.

This morning, on my walk, I saw a group of very young girls playing on the sidewalk.  Their dads were talking to each other off to the side. As I came up to where they were sitting, one of the girls pushed her stroller towards me, as if to hit me with it.  The dads still did not look up, even when I said, "Wow, you wanted to hit me with that!" The girl looked at me belligerently, and finally one of the dads looked up, with a half smile that told me he had no idea what was going on, then went back to his conversation.  I smiled at the girl and kept walking, but my heart went out to her.  She was trying to get someone to engage with her, and if it took actually hurting someone to get attention, she was THAT desperate.  She coud not have been more than 4 years old, and I began to wonder what she would be like at 13, 14, or 15. I can guarantee you that she will not be a happy, fulfilled young woman.  I imagine it is likely that she will engage in unhealthy relationships with boys very early on, in another desperate attempt for validation and attention.  Her parents will spend a lot of money trying to apply a "band aid" to the problem that their unconsciousness created.

When my kids were little, a very wise woman told me, "Meet their needs now, and they will grow up strong and healthy, without the drive of desperately seeking those unfulfilled voids." This has proven to be the best advice I have ever received. We push them out of our beds, and tell them we can't hold them, force them to cry themselves to sleep in a darkened room, and then wonder why they grow up distant and closed off to us. They are raising themselves, and they are not doing a great job.  Is this really surprising?  I am saddened that this is our next generation of leaders, for they are missing some important pieces, and growing up to be apathetic, and unconscious, for that is what we are teaching them.  If you are lucky enough to have a young child, please cherish this time with them, and reject the philosophy of teaching them "independence" from birth.  Let's instead move into a place of teaching them "INTERdependence," in which they can feel supported by the adults in their lives, but they have the confidence to go off on their own when they are ready.  I promise you that your child will not sleep in your bed, or want you to hold him, when he goes off to high school!

Are you "in bloom?"

You may have heard the expression, "Bloom where you are planted." I love this saying, especially on days when I am feeling discouraged at my perceived "lack of (fill in the blank)."  The word that stands out to me in that sentence is LACK.  Do you focus on what you don't have, or do you validate yourself for what you have done, and how far you have come? We are all evolving, whether we like it or not, whether we are conscious of the process, or not.  This morning, I saw a rose bush with dozens of new buds, and it struck me how all these buds will open at different times, some may not ever open fully, others will be picked, and still others will have their entire growth cycle on the bush. At the end of the rose's growth cycle, it is the most open it will ever be, and then it starts to wither away. The bush sees the same sunshine, the same water, and the same weather conditions, but each bud is different, even if only slightly.

The evolution of humans also follows this pattern, yet we are constantly trying to force ourselves to be like everyone else, follow the path someone else wants for us, and generally just denying ourselves the beauty that is our uniqueness. We beat ourselves up for "blooming" more slowly, or diferently, than how we think we "should." If we really just accepted ourselves for where we are now, and who we are now, we would free oursleves to blossom in ways we never imagined!

Free yourself to bloom!

5 things that hijack your happiness

When I ask someone if they are happy, they almost always say, "Yes!"  It has become automatic in our society. We all know that we are "supposed" to be happy, and have been taught that no one will want to be around us if we are sad, depressed, or angry. People even get defensive if you try to empathize with them.  There are several things that seem to get in the way of really being honest with yourself, and moving past that fear of having feelings that are uncomfortable. Until you really deal with those feelings, Happiness will elude you.

1.  Distractions:

In this author's opinion, distractions are the number one problem in society today.  I hear people talking about how "busy" they are, and this seems to give them some sense of self importance, and purpose.  Unfortunately, when you keep yourself so busy, you do not have time to really look inward, and thus you continue in a pattern that is likely not working for you. If you do not have time to get together with friends, or exercise, you are who I am talking about. You may not even "have time" to read this blog. Those who seem to be the most entrenched in distraction are the hardest to reach, and may never get out of it. Eventually, your body will not be able to keep up, and you will be forced to sit down, lie down, or simply slow down. When I first learned to meditate, being still was TORTURE for me.  I had to work my way up from 5 minutes, and now, after 5 years of practice, I can sit and be quiet for an undetermined amount of time. I used to be considered an extrovert, but now, I realize, I need a lot of alone time.  I still enjoy being social, but I do not have the same desire to always be the center of attention, and the life of the party. I prefer to observe, and appreciate the simple things in life.

Nature's simple beauty enthalls me!

2. Excuses:

I am sure you have some very good excuses for why you can not do the things that you really want to do. Most of us could write a book of them! There is never "a good time," you are always "too busy," and most of all, you "don't have the money." Some people even take it to the next level and start making excuses based on what they think the other person wants.  You can't follow up with that person because "They are probably too busy," or "It isn't a good time for them." Next time you hear yourself starting a sentence with "I can't do that because...." stop and ask yourself why you REALLY aren't doing it.  Why aren't you making the time?  Why are you constantly in a state of emergency so that you can not pursue the things that you really want to do? If you don't have the money, why not?  Are you spending your time and money on things that do not serve you?  Finding your truth in these situations will make your path clear.

3. Beliefs

A large amount of us are stuck in a belief system that is not even ours.  We are taught from birth to do things a certain way, and they become unconscious patterns, which create circumstances that become "who we are" and "our life." Our parents and caregivers are likely also unconscious of these patterns in themselves.  When a young child sees and hears a parent or caregiver exhibiting certain thought and behavior patterns, they absorb it and begin to take it on as their own.  This has been proven time and time again with studies and research in the most respected fields. What has not been widely examined is how deep these patterns go.  When my kids were little, I admonished them for yelling in the house.  When my oldest began to question me, I could not come up with an answer for "Why?" I realized that my parents had forbidden my brothers and I to yell in the house, and so I just absorbed that into my knowledge, and it became a "rule." If you find yourself saying things like, "I have always done it this way!" but you can't come up with a real reason, that is likely a belief that was instilled in you, and it may not be your truth.  This is another thing that can really block your flow of creativity and purpose.

red rose

4. Ego

If you are a regular reader of my blogs, you probably already know about this one.  One of the books that changed my views, and my life, is Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth." In it, he talks about how we allow our Ego to run our lives, and it is never in our best interest.  The Ego is that part of your consciousness that makes you feel like you need to defend yourself, and pass blame. It is formed when we are children, and we learn how to lie, and shift blame, so that we do not get "in trouble." It is a shame that most of adult society is rooted in this pattern, because it does not resolve anything; rather, it only passes the baton and relocates the issues.  If we could look past the Ego and face our faults and issues head on, we would move through them and really evolve as a society.  To live in your Ego is to constantly feel fearful, and it is almost impossible to create from this space.

5. Fear

It has been said that most people are more afraid of success than they are of failure. To succeed means you will have to change your routine, and it falls into the "fear of unknown" category. To fail means you stay where you are, in the familiar, even if you don't like it.  It is human nature to cling to the familiar, and our ancestors needed to do this in order to survive. Venturing into the unknown in ancient times would often lead to death, or at the very least, mortal danger. Fear is a healthy part of being human, when it comes to jumping off a cliff, or diving into dark waters.  However; it seems to really cripple us when it comes to making personal decisions in relationships, career, etc. This is a time for moving forward, out of old patterns, and we have to conquer our fears in order to do this.  When you find yourself having trouble making a decision, ask yourself if you are afraid. There is a great quote from the movie Point Break, "Hesitation is Fear." I stumbled across a great blog on this quote, if you want to read more.

Image by Colleen Patrick