Welcoming 2017
/As some of you know, 2017 ushered in some very intense energies, and I was immediately thrown into a purge of great magnitude. To put it in simple terms: I got SICK. I have never personally experienced an exorcism, but I would imagine it was very similar to my sickness. I have been studying energy work for the better part of the last decade, and one of my biggest paradigm shifts is the one of physical illness. When your body is moving a lot of energy, you may feel run down, and tired. If you "push through" this sensation, and drink a bunch of coffee, ignoring your body's need to rest, you will likely become sidelined by illness. I am usually fairly adept at listening to my body, but apparently, I needed a LONG rest, and I was sick for about 3 weeks. I have just now started to feel somewhat normal, but I do notice that I am still needing quite a bit of sleep.
I was forced to stay in bed for days, and even though I felt some better each day, it was in very tiny increments. One day, I went to the store and that exhausted me. The only thing I could do was sit on the couch, or at my computer, as I was coughing too much to talk on the phone, and I certainly didn't want to have people over, as both my sons became ill, as well. We were a house of quarantine, and then......it snowed. I had to laugh, as one of the hardest things for me to do is to stay home, and just sit around. I HATE feeling non productive, and I HATE isolation even more. Each day bled into the next, my own version of Groundhog Day. What was I supposed to be looking at? I sat in meditation hour upon hour, clearing energies, looking at situations, and generally just surrendering to what was happening, or, more accurately, what wasn't happening.
Finally, one day, I woke up, and I started to think about all the things that I could do alone. I love to cook, and be in nature, and I love to write. I also really love Alchemy, and that is clearly on this next part of my life path. So, I decided, as I felt well enough, I would start to do as many of those things every day, as I could. A shift began to occur, as I focused more on what I could do alone, and less on others and what I wanted to do with them. Balance is key here, as I definitely enjoy the company of others, but I realized that I have become almost too dependent on that, and when someone could not make time for me, it would trigger my abandonment issues. I realized that I have been abandoning MYSELF.
My situation is a bit different than some, as I do not have a family that is there for me. I have zero safety net. My friends are my family, and so, when I feel them pulling away, for whatever reason, I begin to panic and become clingy. I have not trusted that I could be there for myself. I have not understood, until now, that I am a wise and very strong being, and I can do this, all alone. Having said that, I LOVE my friends, and I also know that I will never HAVE to do it alone, but it is a quiet certainty, that I am going to be fine, even if I only have myself to rely upon. That is the balance that I am finding, and it is supremely empowering. My world is exploding right now, with abundance, love, and happiness. And you know why? Because I am on my Island, I am exuding all those things, and so they are magnetized to me.
I want to tell you today, my friends: YOU can do this. You have power inside you, and you don't have to go through what I did in order to access this power. You may have to sit with your pain, and you may have to battle addictions, or distractions, but let me tell you: You have this power, we all do, it is your job to find your own personal key, to your own personal Island, inside yourself. Connecting with your passions, what brings you joy, is a very important first step. Follow your truth, and pay attention to what you are creating. Everything that "happens" to you is a creation of your own energies. Learn to recognize and shift those energies, and you have the world on a string.
Sending blessings and love to you all!