The Experience of a Sensitive Soul
/All my life, I have been called “sensitive”. This is normally accompanied with an air of frustration and/or exasperation, and I would either get angry, or cry. Put this on repeat for the first 20 or so years of my life, when I finally reached a point where I would attempt to disguise my feelings, or use substances to keep them from coming up in the first place. Today, at the ripe old age of 50, I reflect back upon this experience, knowing that there are many such sensitive souls in the world, including my sons. My most sincere wish this holiday season is that we may create awareness around this issue, and develop a compassion for others, but mostly, for ourselves.
My sensitive nature got me in all sorts of situations, and I’m sure I was rude and angry to many people who had no idea what I was so upset about. I was so tangled up in my own shame and guilt, that I did not have the ability to see the inherent beauty in this trait, until, years later, I found a tribe in True Insight, a school for intuitives. Here, I learned that many others struggled with my affliction, and that, here, it was considered “normal”. My first few years at True Insight were spent dealing with all my internal pain, and learning how to clear it, rather than try to pass it off to others. Passing the “Pain Baton” is a very common societal program that we are taught from a very early age, on a subconscious level.
Once I started to accept that being sensitive was to my advantage in certain situations, I began to slowly rise out of the reality where I was a victim of everyone and everything. I started to react differently when others would be frustrated at my tears, or angry at my sensitive nature. No one wants to feel bad, and when you are in the paradigm in which you are responsible for other people’s feelings, you are stuck in a cycle of blame, shame, and guilt. This manifests as anger later in life, when you are exhausted and cannot take on any more energy. Eventually, that internal stress starts to cause Dis-ease in the body, and then, you classify yourself as “aging”. What if I were to tell you that you do not have to accept this as a normal process? What if there was another way? It requires you to look at some deep internal pain, and review your entire life, and everything as you know it, will change, including friendships, family, and career. That path to change is never easy, and if you truly wish to change your direction, and begin a new journey, I can promise you it will not be easy. However, I can also assure you that it is 100% worth it!
The past 15 years have been a struggle, and lots of pain has come up for my review. When you learn a new skill, you are given many opportunities to practice it. I have moved to a different state, changed jobs 4 or 5 times, and shifted my entire friend group a few times over. I was estranged from my family for a few years, but recently, reconnected with them, and since I am in a happier place, I am able to love all of them, and appreciate the differences we share. You see, when I shifted my energies towards loving myself and forgiving myself, those around me just naturally shifted, too. I know I have a lot more work ahead of me, but I am slowly stepping into a beautiful new reality, empowered by the deep inner knowing that I created this, and can continue to create more.
Wishing you all a glorious and wonderful holiday season! Many Blessings, Andrea
*****For more information, or to schedule a session, go to www.andreagarst.com or email me happiness@andreagarst.com
