Your biggest challenge can be your best teacher

April 9, 2015 Andrea Garst

I have lots of dreams, and some of them seem to be more profound than others. I will go through periods of time where I am having prophetic dreams every night, and then I will go for a while where I am having crazy clown dreams. Last night, after attending a workshop where we released and updated behaviorial agreements, I had an extremely profound dream and felt led to share it with you.

I am standing in a group of people, outside of a cave, and it is being decided who should go in with me. I feel impatient for them to decide so that I can get inside. There is a sense of urgency and I am not entirely sure why. It is finally decided that my friend Jason will go with me, and we proceed to the entrance, he with trepidation, and me, with a growing sense of urgency. I am practically dragging him with me, as we enter the first tunnel, and make our way along the path. Suddenly, on the right hand side, a platform is illuminated, and there is a tableau playing out for us. We go over and step into the scene, where we are actors, and we are assigned parts to play. The part I am given is that of a little girl, who is beaten down, physically and emotionally, until a kind boy brings me flowers, and that small act of kindness gives me hope. The hope is that not everyone is mean and abusive, and I cling to that hope as I pick myself up and start to smile up at the boy, who is now looking nervous, as people start to yell at him, "What are you doing? Why are you being nice to her? Leave her alone!" He and I laugh, and we run away together, holding hands as only children can do, and we find ourselves in the cave, again as adults. We proceed deeper into the cave, and find more of these opportunities to play actors in various scenes, all of which seem to echo my life experiences in some way. We come upon a bend in the tunnel, and as we round into it, we see a fire beginning to burn toward us. We turn and run, but I keep getting distracted by the various tableaus playing out, and I get singed a few times. Jason is now dragging ME, and we finally make it to the entrance, where we leap out, just in time, and the whole cave is engulfed in flames. We sit and watch it burn itself out, and when it is all done, I go in to survey the damage. What is left is a hollowed out version of the cave. All the platforms are gone, and the fire has left the walls strangely clean and new. I understand that I can now start to rebuild, and I bring my friends in, showing them all the places we can make our own. I feel excited!"

My interpretation of the dream is that all my past traumas have taught me some valuable lessons, but it is time to let all that go and move forward. The fire symbolizes the equalizing of the playing field, and the hollowed out cave represents the new space I am moving into. It is clear, and available for whatever I want it to be. The past few months have shown me a lot of painful memories from the past, and I have spent a lot of time working on forgiveness, for myself as well as others. It is of no use for me to hold on to the trauma of my past, and those who have perpetuated this shame and anger along with me. I am no longer that little girl who was helpless to set boundaries and protect herself. I am a strong, adult woman, who can say NO and make different choices. I don't need the approval of others to move on with my life and stand in my truth.

When you let go of these past traumas, it leaves a big hole. It can feel really overwhelming and uncomfortable, but this is simply the fear of the unknown. New paths are harder to navigate at first, but as you persevere, it will become easier and easier, until it is your new pattern. Isn't it time to release the hold these events and people have on you? When you are "mad" at someone, or allow hurt to dictate your actions and feelings, you have given your power away. You have allowed outside forces to tell you how to act, feel, and be. Creating a new space means taking all this power back and using it to your advantage, and to serve your higher purpose.