I keep thinking about that saying, "No man is an island," and I have to say, I disagree. I think we are each our own island, and your thoughts, actions, and intentions create the type of island you exist upon. I had a vision about a year ago, and I really didn't know what it meant in the beginning, but now, I have a greater understanding of it. At the time, I was in a very painful relationship, where I sacrificed my happiness and love for myself because I had a belief that relationships were about that. 

I realized that I must find my own happiness and love (my island), and if he, or anyone else, wants to be with me, they are welcome on my island, where I have all my own love and happiness to share. BUT.....no one can take it with them, and no one can effect how I feel. Don Miguel Ruiz, in "The Mastery of Love," calls it, the "magic kitchen." People have to build their own bridges to my island, I am not responsible for doing their work for them. The key is, the bridge must be built with love. No anger, or fear, or pain will build a bridge to my island. Everyone is responsible for their own island, and if you want to live in happiness and love, YOU MUST CREATE IT for yourself. We can all visit each other on our islands, and together, we can create a network of love, and happiness, and a world where we validate and support each other. My vision is for all of us, and a new paradigm which I am choosing for myself, and anyone who wants to join me, is welcome. The trick is, You cannot connect your bridge to my island until you have completed your personal journey. Only those who resonate with my energy completely are able to connect. 

This is not to say that I am the only energy that is "good," or that I am the only one with the "answer," and I can't stress this enough. Everyone creates the world they want, and boundaries create the edges of your own island. There are so many different paths, and we are all on our own journey. You are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be, and you will connect with those who resonate with that. There is no good, bad, higher, or lower, there is only DIFFERENT. An old saying that comes to mind is "misery loves company." Wherever you are, you will find validation for that, if that is where you need to stay. For example, a person who is very depressed, tends to find others who are very depressed. They are MATCHING each other's energy. This will result in both people staying in that energy, until one or both decide that they do not want to be depressed any longer. Often, this is the end of the friendship, and the person who wants to stay in that agreement of depression, often feels betrayed and abandoned. Society has taught us that we must stay in these relationships. because otherwise, we are "not a good friend" or "disloyal." This could not be further from the truth. Friendships can evolve, certainly, but if you wish to move into a different space, and the other person does not, why would you abandon YOURSELF in this quest? We are not responsible for other people's choices. We are only responsible for following the path of our own truth, in the kindest and gentlest way possible. 

In the example of my ex-boyfriend, I had to set a very clear boundary, and if he wants to build his bridge, he is welcome on my island. But he has lots of pain to work through, and lots of old patterns to shed and shift before he can be part of my network. I send him love when I can, energetically, but I will not, cannot, go to his island of pain. I grieve the loss, but in the end, he made his choice, over and over again, and I choose LOVE. I choose ME, and my path of truth.