How many times have you said to yourself, "What a jerk! I can't believe he\she said\did that!" I have come to realize that these moments are the best teachers we have. If you spend all your time with people who tell you the things you want to hear, you are in a rut. Now, let me clarify: You are never served by allowing others to abuse you on any level. I am just talking about that one person that always seems so willing to point out your faults and weaknesses, not necessarily in a mean-spirited way, but you may not seek them out regularly because it is challenging to be around them. You feel bad about yourself when they are around, and the natural inclination is to just take yourself in the opposite direction. 

I had a woman in my life who was like this for me, some years ago. She just made me bristle and I avoided her whenever it was possible. A teacher of mine pointed out that she was simply very good at pointing out truths that she saw in me, and that were painful for me because I did not want to look at those. I learned some tools that I could use to protect myself, should any malice be attached to that, and it became interesting for me to be around her. I actually learned a lot about myself in that situation, because she had nothing to lose, so she was always painfully honest with me. 

After reading Eckhart Tolle, and understanding about the ego, and how it creates anger to keep us from evolving, I was further intrigued and adapted a new mantra: If it makes me mad or defensive, it is something I need to look at. It wasn't always easy, and I wasn't always able to pass by the anger, but what started to happen was that I accessed parts of myself that I had locked away for a very long time, and was able to start to release them. In the years since, it is rare for me to actually become angry with another person, because I enjoy the introspection that I gain from letting their observations create a curiosity instead. 

So, next time you hear something that makes you want to defend yourself, look for your truth. You may just learn something valuable!